Growing pains

Recently, Katha and I visited a church where the pastor referenced a hymn by John Newton that was new to us.

Ironically, God used that hymn to speak loudly into my life.

Over the past few years I have tried to make my life “work” by applying for jobs that fit my experience and my professional accomplishments.

He landed me in job for which I am grateful but not completely fulfilled and kept me from places I really wanted to go. I asked, “Why?”

I am a guy who likes to be in control but I now find my self in control of almost nothing and often hearing only silence from God. So I found this hymn to be quite convicting. I encourage you to read all 7 stanzas to follow it’s progression:

I Asked the Lord That I Might Grow
John Newton

VERSE 1
I asked the Lord that I might grow
In faith and love and ev’ry grace,
Might more of His salvation know,
And seek more earnestly His face.

VERSE 2
‘Twas He who taught me thus to pray,
And He, I trust, has answered prayer,
But it has been in such a way
As almost drove me to despair.

VERSE 3
 I hoped that in some favored hour
At once He’d answer my request
And, by His love’s constraining pow’r,
Subdue my sins and give me rest.

VERSE 4
Instead of this, He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart
And let the angry pow’rs of hell
Assault my soul in ev’ry part.

VERSE 5
Yea, more with His own hand He seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe,
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Humbled my heart and laid me low.

VERSE 6
“Lord, why is this,” I trembling cried;
“Wilt Thou pursue Thy worm to death?”
“’Tis in this way,” the Lord replied,
“I answer prayer for grace and faith.”

VERSE 7
“These inward trials I employ
From self and pride to set thee free
And break thy schemes of earthly joy
That thou may’st find thy all in Me.”

As it has been said, be careful what you ask for.